LET'S LAUGH! (A collection of funny stories and jokes here!)

A quick guide on how to bathe a cat:


1. Scrub toilet and flush several times.(You may consider this step optional.)

2. Fill toilet with warm water and add a squirt of pet shampoo.

3. Drop cat in toilet and slam lid shut.

4. Sit on lid. Cat's efforts to free itself will generate a good deal of sudsing and washing motions.

5. Flush toilet a couple of times to rinse the cat. NOTE: Hold securly to leash attached to cat in toilet.

6. Leap off toilet seat, dash out the door, and slam it shut securly, because kitty will erupt from the bowl as if jet propelled.

7. Leave kitty to sulk and dry himself.

8. Bask in self-congratulatory haze.

How to get a bunch of skypers confused:

1. Talking about something that can be easily forgotten. (ex. Something about pokemon).

2. Wait a good few hours and make sure new people enter the call.

3. Bring up the subject from the earlier hours.

4. Watch the skypers talk about it and bring up when you talk about it.

5. If the subject was forgetable, they might not remember whether you talked about today, tomorrow, or another day. 8DDD

6. If you exceed this, say "I'm sorry!" when people are fighting over it.

7. You are now the god of time jkjk

8. Have funnnnn~

WARNING: Works better during the middle of the smer when no one is keeping track of the days ouo)b

*COURTESY OF MY GEOGRAPHY TEACHER, MR. TYLDESLEY*

So there's this guy that walks into a bar. As he orders his drinks, he realizes these two weird guys. The conversation goes something along the lines of this:

"Oh, hey! Haven't seen you around these parts before! Where do you live?"

"Oh, just by the convenience store!"

"Me, too! What a coincidence! Where did you go to school?"

"The one just up the hill!"

"Me, too!"

"Oh, what a coincidence!"

etc. etc.

The man turns to the bartender with a perplexed expression. "Hey, what's up with those two?"

The bartender follows the man's gaze and grins. "Oh, that's the Parker twins. They're drunk again."


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...yeah.. >v<;;

My PE teacher from a while ago said something very wise.

"He who stands under basketball net, shall be met with a basketball to the head."

I responded,
"COACH! YOU'RE RIGHT UNDER THE NET!"

I never said he was wise.

...8D